


One Year Exactly

by BonnefoyBaggins



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Requited Love, Schizophrenia, Sexuality Crisis, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love, You Decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8907103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonnefoyBaggins/pseuds/BonnefoyBaggins
Summary: It has been six months since everything went to hell; five months and twenty-one days to be exact. Who knew things can go so wrong so fast. Oswald has lost everything he held dear and cared about. Not only has he not seen or heard Ed since their last encounter, but he has lost his position as mayor, the gangs refuse to listen to him, and now he is on the run from the police....





	1. Coward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my very first fanfic I have wrote for the Gotham fandom and my very first fanfic I have ever wrote by myself. This is something I have never been able to do and when I have been able to write it's only been a few 100 words and I hated it. But I am super proud of this and in myself, I actually loved something I've wrote for once.
> 
> I am dedicating this story to four people who have been very kind and welcoming to me, please follow them on tumblr and read their own stories on here.
> 
> Bask - http://baskervilleshund.tumblr.com/  
> Oki - http://okimi79.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSinger  
> Hatty - http://m4dh4ttey266.tumblr.com/  
> Zazzles - http://zsaszmatazz.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule

It has been six months since everything went to hell; five months and twenty-one days to be exact. Who knew things can go so wrong so fast. Oswald has lost everything he held dear and cared about. Not only has he not seen or heard Ed since their last encounter, but he has lost his position as mayor, the gangs refuse to listen to him, and now he is on the run from the police. All because someone has spread false information that he lied and cheated his way into office, is actually secretly working for Fish and leading the crime lords on, as well as stole money from them. Well the last one wasn't really a lie, but if a few supplies go missing and end up in rival gangs hands that isn't his problem, that is business. Not only can he not access his bank account or get near his house, but he is wanted by police and every criminal in the city. He was barely able to escape with the clothes on his back and pocket change. Gabe and Victor were able to set him up in the cheapest, garbage heap of an apartment before they had to break contact with him and disappear themselves. "Can't afford to be seen with you," they said. "Nothing personal boss, just bad for business," Victor added. He can't blame them, he was the most wanted man in the city. He didn't have the right to ask them to stay with him, stay in contact. Why should they be dragged down with him.

It has been seven months and eleven days, and most days he was too drunk to even process what was going on, maybe it was better that way. To not feel or have his mind clouded by thoughts, just to let himself drown. It was better to spend his days looking down empty bottle after bottle. Living off cheap liquor and instant noodles that he payed the scumbags that lived in the rathole with him to bring him. "Yeah this is the life," he'd drunkly laugh one day, pouring the last gulps of a bottle out the window.

It has been eight months and three days. His heart was betraying him, not letting him find peace. He wondered why he hasn't contacted Edward yet, gave him a call or sent him a message. Maybe this was his punishment for being a selfish, jealous, bastard. He gets nothing, no kingdom and no friends. No different then how he grew up, only this time he is even more alone.

"Remember that," Ed had told him, but he wishes he could just forget. Forget everything and everyone...forget him. Forget how he made him feel, forget the way his face lit up when he solved a puzzle or when he solved one of his ridiculous riddles. He always made fun of them, but right now he wishes he could hear them once more. He'd probably tell him a stupid one just to annoy him "What is black and write and red all over" okay probably not that one, he'd think up a more clever one. He wishes he could just forgot how much he still loves him.

It has been nine months and one day. Oswald was staring down the barrel of his pistol, trying to get himself to just pull the trigger. It would be easy he thought, just one quick pull and it'd all be over. He can be with his parents, if the world was forgiving enough to give him that. He already wrote his note seven times until he got it just write. Not that anyone would be looking for him, they'd only find him once he started to smell. His finger shook against the trigger, getting closer and closer to hearing the pop and finally feel nothing. But just as he thought he'd be able to do it this time, he let out a sob and dropped it to the floor. He was pathetic...he was a coward.

It has been ten months and thirteen days. He was drowning himself in liquor again, the strong stuff this time. It was time to celebrate, it was an anniversary. The anniversary of when Edward saved him, brought him into his life. Oswald wondered if it would have been best for them both if he just left him to die. He wanted to die then, why didn't he just let him. Why would he care, why would anyone care. He was going to try an overdose this time, he had the bottles in front of him. But it was just a sick joke, a tease to himself. He threw them up right as he swallowed them. He knew he could never do it, he was a coward.

It has been eleven months and thirty days. Why couldn't he just die already? Why can't the police find him? Why can't someone come into his room and just stab him with the knife he couldn't use, spill the blood he couldn't spill. Just end his suffering. He couldn't do it, he was a coward.

It has been a year, a year exactly. He was going to do it this time, no turning back. As he looked in the bathroom mirror, taking a deep chug of the remains of his second bottle of wine, he let out a sad laugh at how pathetic he looked. If anyone saw him now they wouldn't have recognized him. His hair was a mess and he had dark circles under his eyes. He was thinner then usual, paler. A year of barely eating and strongly drinking would do that to you. He was a shell of his former self, he looked like death and soon that would be true. He had the bath filled with water, seemed only fitting this was the way he'd do it. Have the Penguin drown, how ironic. He placed his note on the toilet seat, hoping someone would see it and give it to Ed. That is all it was addressed to, just Ed. He explained everything, wrote all his feelings down on paper the best he could. Confessed to what he did and hoped he could forgive him for it.

He told him he loved him, oh how much he loved him. He was leaving him everything, all of his money and his home. If the police would even let him have it, but his Ed was smart and would find a way to get it. He can do what he wants with it; try to live a happy life, give it away, or even burn it to the ground if he wants. It'd be what he deserves, why would he want anything from him.

He stopped the run of the cheap cold water once the tub was filled, feeling his chest tightened as he climbed in fully dressed in his thin pajamas. He'd give himself some decency and spare someone from finding his naked corpse.

He clenched his teeth trying to stop the tears stinging his eyes; he has hardly shed a tear this last year and he wasn't going to now. But it looks like that wasn't going to happen as the tears begin to slide down his cheeks as he started to sink down into the water until his ears were submerged into the water as well.

Oswald listened to his own heartbeat, listening to the one muscle in his body that never stopped feeling. He listened to the one part of his body that refused to stop aching, refused to forget. All he wanted was for the aching to stop. And it never would, not while it continued to beat.

Slowly he closed his eyes and let the rest of his body slip under the water, listening the rhythmic beat of his heart while holding himself under. His lungs begin to ache and burn, but he didn't care. All he can think of is ending his suffering, ending the long life of pain. Though he wish he wouldn't, he thought of Edward. His dear Ed with his sweet smile and caring touch. He was just like him, viewed as a monster by the rest of the world. Perhaps that was why they were so drawn to one another. Two outcasts that needed a friend. Nobody saw Ed the way he did. Though they were so similar, they couldn't be more different. Ed was smart and cunning ; but yet so loving and caring. How could he not notice, did he not see the way his eyes filled with love and compassion when every he spoke to him? He tried to remember how it felt to hold him, to have him in his arms. Tried to remember the way he smelt and the sound of his laugh. He imagines the feel of his arms around him that night by the fire, the night he realized just how much he loved him. Holding onto that memory and so many others he lets go and lets the darkness overtake him.

Just as he feels the water fill his lungs and feels himself let the darkness claim him he feels a sets of arms grab at him pulling him out of the water...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be kind, but criticism is welcome.
> 
> Beta read by Zazzles - http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule


	2. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I wouldn't make you wait long. :) I will either post the last chapter late tonight or early tomorrow. Enjoy!
> 
> I am dedicating this story to four people who have been very kind and welcoming to me, please follow them on tumblr and read their own stories on here.
> 
> Bask - http://baskervilleshund.tumblr.com/  
> Oki - http://okimi79.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSinger  
> Hatty - http://m4dh4ttey266.tumblr.com/  
> Zazzles - http://zsaszmatazz.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule

Edward would say he was rather proud of himself, not only has he ruined Oswald’s career and reputation. But it looks likes he chased him out of Gotham altogether. It serves him right, after everything he did he was lucky he didn’t personally kill him. He could have stabbed him that night, gunned him down in the street, or snuck back into the manor to slit his throat. No, all those would have been to quick. He needed to suffer, and that is just what he did. He needs to feel what he felt, to know what it’s like to lose everything love. Isabella was his everything, his chance to start over and Oswald took that from him. So he took away his second chance. He hates him. He hates him!

He needed him, he needed him beside him. Everything felt wrong, nothing felt right. Oswald made him stronger, he made him feel sane. He was his best friend and…and…he had to go and ruin everything. After everything he did for him, everything he risked. He goes and betrays him.

He would rant like this to Barbara, who seemed to find it less and less humorous as it went on.

“Eddie, as much as I love to hear you tell the story of your unrequited love I do have matters to attend to. As you know, running Gotham is busy work. Tabby, Butch keep him company.”

She’d leave them like this, looking for any excuse to cut him off or belittle his plans or ignore him in everyway. Tabitha and Butch were his babysitters, as if he hasn’t already done enough to gain her trust. But it isn’t like he hasn’t figured out she is using him, he figured that out months ago. But he was using her just as much, she didn’t realize just how in control he was. Her people were his people, her plans were his plans.

After months of dealing with them he was slowly unraveling Barbara, just like he did with Oswald. She wasn’t Queen and she never will be. If he can make a true King fall, well a false Queen would be all to easy. He started making up excuse to leave, just to get a couple of hours by himself. He needed time to think, to plan. “I need to go kill someone,” he’d end up saying, it was enough to shut them up and leave him alone. Sometimes he would go do just that, find some lowlife to blow off steam with.

But it has been a year now, one hard long year. Barbara was dealing with her own troubles, it seems that she has ticked off a certain Falcone. Not only that but Butch was now in custody and Tabitha was on the run herself. What a lot of trouble a few fingerprints can cause.

He was on his own now, starting his own underworld crime ring. He found some loyal allies this past year, people who’d listen to him and do what he said. But he can’t help but miss the old days. It was so much easier with Oswald, atleast he treated him as an equal. The two of them understood each other, he was the closet person intellectually on his level. These goons can’t even solve the simplest of puzzles. Oswald was able to understand him, even see what he was thinking at times. Even having it all comes with a price;

He was alone.

Which leads him to his current state, flipping through the phone book (underA) and dialing a certain number.

"Hello Madam, I am in need of an hitman. I would like you to tell me where I can find Victor Zsasz.”

* * *

* * *

 

When Edward arrived at the old warehouse Zsasz was sitting in a chair, feet propped up and leaning back on the two back legs. But the moment he spotted Ed his normal neutral expression flicked with annoyance, putting the knife he had been sharping back in his boot.

"Victor Zsasz, nice to see you again” Ed smiles, making his way up to his old associate, who was already marching over to him. “I need you to-” he was cut off before he could finish his sentence, a punch landing against his face making him stumble backwards. Ed brought his fingers to his lip, feeling the small cut that was now there. He wiggles his jaw around before speaking again, “Alright, I guess I deserved that."

Zsasz nods, “That was for boss and for costing me a job. He was more professional then anyone else I’ve worked for and now I’m back to petty assassinations and being a bodyguard to sorry excuses for crime lords." The assassin straightens his jacket, cracking his knuckles “now, how may I help you?”

“I need you to tell me where Oswald is hiding, I know you know where he is. He couldn’t have gotten away without your help. So I need the address,” he said simply, better to just get right to the point.

"You can’t be serious,” he laughs, “you want me to tell the guy responsible for destroying my bosses rep where he is hiding? I knew you were good at riddles, who knew you were good with the jokes.”

Edward sighs, “I assure you I am not joking. I’m not going to hurt him, I just need to talk. And why would you care? He’s not your boss anymore, I can pay far more to tell me where he is then he payed you to hide him. Which I assume wasn’t a lot, since he couldn’t reach his money.”

Zsasz crosses his arms and clicks his tongue, “how much are we talking about?” His eyes watch as Edward pulls an envelope out of his pocket.

"Five thousand now and five thousand when I find him,” he says, causing Zsasz to whistle.

"You got yourself a deal riddler, but” he walks closer, “if I find out you killed him, I will personally hunt you down and gut you like a fish.” He smiles and plucks the envelope from him. “Now, hand me a pen.”

* * *

* * *

 

Edward made his way up the moldy staircase, looking at each room number as he went. Once he found the correct one he knocked on the door, waiting a moment before he knocked again. He knew he was in there, he trusted Zsasz as a source and there was nowhere else for him to go. He listened for the familiar sound of shuffling feet, but when he didn’t hear anything he knocked louder. “Oswald,” he risked calling him this time, “Oswald open up, I just want to talk.”

"Why would he want to talk to you his," other half hisses, “You left him, abandoned him for a year. For all you know he already found out what you did to him, he probably hates you.”

"Shut up,” he growls, blocking out his thoughts. “Os, I am coming in.” He leans down, easily able to pick the poor lock. Child’s play really, he could have just pushed and that door would open. The sight of the one room apartment was terrible. Old food containers and empty bottles littered the floor, creating a gagging scent of alcohol and rioting food. Has Oswald really been living like this? He did this to him? Edward walked carefully around the small apartment, seeing all the signs that Oswald was here and yet he isn’t.

"Oswald,” he called, looking under the bed and in the closet.

"Oh come on, you know he is already out of the closet” the other half jokes, when Ed gave him a threatening look he simply smiled and zipped his lips.

Since the building didn’t have any fire escapes, how many more health violations does this place have, the only other place he could be was the bathroom. He walks over to the only other place he hasn’t checked, frowning when he noticed the door was slightly opened. “Oswald? Are you in there,” he asks, slowly pushing the door open with a creek.

The sight before him will haunt him for the rest of his life, the sight of a pale lifeless Oswald resting at the bottom of the tub. He felt himself drain of all color, felt his breath leave his body and his heart jump out his throat.

"Oswald!” He cried, quickly reaching into the water and tugging him out.“Oswald, no please."

The water soaked his shirt and pants as he dragged him out, laying him flat on the floor. He desperately felt for a pulse and rested his ear against his beast to listen for the beat of his heart. It was faint, but it was there. He struggled to gain back any knowledge he could, every thought leaving him. “Okay, stay calm. I just need to get him to breath, you know how to do CPR.” He parts Oswald’s lips and connects them with his own as he tried to get air in his lungs. “Come on Os, you have to breath damn it.”

"Why are you so upset,” the voice asks, “this was what you wanted. You wanted to destroy him, well it looks like you did just that.”

"Shut up, I didn’t want this,” he counts to ten before blowing more air in his lungs. “I wanted him to feel the pain I felt, to understand what it felt like.”

“Wow it looks like I am the smart one,” he laughs, leaning against the counter “look again wise guy. He already knew how that felt. He lost his mother, his father, and then he lost you. The guy had nothing left to take. You made him lower then low. All you lost was a stupid girl you barely knew anything about. With the bird you had power, money, loyal allies, and everything else you needed to succeed. All that girl got you was some sex. Hell it looked like you could have got that from him as well,” he only laughed more as Edward glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You could have two things you love. Power and your desperate need for attention, you couldn’t lose!”

"Just be quiet,” he snaps, arguing was just wasting time. He held the smaller man’s nose and pushing more air into him, trying desperately get him to breath. “Please Oswald…please, you have to wake up.” He begs, only now noticing that he was crying when tears started sliding down his nose and landing on the pale face below him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Just please, please be okay.” He takes it all back, everything he said about him and everything he did. If he would just wake up he could apologize, he can make things right. “You have to wake up.”

He kept this up for what felt like hours, giving him all the air he had until he thought his own lung would burst and pumping against his chest until he thought his arms would give away. A normal person wouldn’t come back after this long, and when he felt his pulse it wasn’t even there.

"No," he whispers. He couldn't be gone, he can't leave him. Edward let out a pained cry, leaning over his friend and sobbing. He felt his heart breaking, shattering inside him. This was his fault, it was all his fault. He gathered him up in his arms, whimpering as the small bird was cold and limp in his grasp.

"Oswald,” he whispers, brushing his wet hair off his forehead. “I’m so sorry. I kept saying how I needed you, but you needed me more. I told myself I hated you, but” he chokes on his sobs, clutching Oswald closer “you’re my best friend Oswald and…I will always love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I am a cruel person. I completely cried when I was writing this. Just one more chapter to go!  
>    
> Be kind, but criticism is welcome.
> 
> 100 points anyone who can notice the hidden reference I used, hint it is from a movie.
> 
> Beta read by Zazzles - http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule


	3. Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter everyone! It's the longest one. Thank you for reading and for all the kind comments. I really enjoyed writing this.
> 
> I am dedicating this story to four people who have been very kind and welcoming to me, please follow them on tumblr and read their own stories on here.
> 
> Bask - http://baskervilleshund.tumblr.com/  
> Oki - http://okimi79.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentSinger  
> Hatty - http://m4dh4ttey266.tumblr.com/  
> Zazzles - http://zsaszmatazz.tumblr.com/  
> http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule

Oswald was suddenly blinded by a flash of light, causing him to put his hand up to block out the blinding light. He realized then that he was standing on a beach facing the sea. The feel of the breeze on his face was comforting. He felt at peace, peace that he never thought he would find for the rest of his days. He wiggled his toes in the sand, letting out a gasp when he realized his leg was no longer hurting. A smile spread across his face and made a run towards the water. He was running! The peace he felt made everything seem so beautiful. Suddenly he heard someone calling his name.

“Oswald!”

The voice sounded familiar, and they sounded panicked and desperate.

"Oswald! Please!”

Oswald found himself turning away from the water, his feet moving faster towards the sound of the cries.

"Please!”

Something inside of him clicked. Ed? It’s Ed! He’s calling for him!

As Ed’s voice got louder he moved faster. Trees formed around him, it took him a second to realize he was now in a forest. How did he get here? But that didn’t matter, if Edward was hurt he had to get to him. He stopped suddenly when he no longer heard the cries, turning himself in a circle. Then he heard it again, Ed was crying, and close by! Oswald’s lungs suddenly felt heavy, he couldn’t breathe. But his eyes kept searching desperately through the trees, he needed to get to Edward! He needed to make whoever was hurting him pay!

Suddenly his chest felt painfully full and strained now. He fell to the ground clasping at his chest.

"Oswald…you have to wake up…” Ed’s cries had become a whisper, echoing in his ears.

He felt his lungs and chest burn and feel full again. He closed his eyes if only to will the pain away, he was crawling now desperate to find his love and stop whatever was hurting him. As he closed his eyes he felt cold rush over his body, then feel the ghosts of lips on his own.

He blinked his eyes open again only to find he was not lying on the ground in the middle of the woods, but he was being held close by the very person he wished to reach. He rolled over and vomited up the water that filled his lungs and stomach, his body wrenching violently. He felt a hand on his back, helping him turn over and holding him steady. When he turned his head back around, gasping and exhausted from emptying his body, there hovering above his face was Ed. His face pale, eyebrows pinched in horror and distress filling every detail of his expression. Tears stained his beautiful brown eyes, which were swollen red. He watched as Ed tried to catch his breath, sobs beginning to shake his core.

Why was he here? How could he be here? Oswald barely remembers what happened. He was on a beach, then he was in the woods. But now he is being held tightly by his closest friend in his bathroom floor. Bathroom floor… Oh..

Oh…he tried to kill himself. He was remembering it all now; the wine, the note, the water, the pain, and the need for peace. But how could he be alive?

Quite suddenly Oswald felt himself being swept back up into Edward’s arms. Into an embrace that warmed him to his bones, a hug he has not experienced in a long time. He had to be dreaming, he had to have died. That was the only explanation for him being here. He began to shudder violently as he now felt the cold air hit his body as a wave of sobs of his own began to wash over him.

“Thank God,” Edward cried, cupping his cheeks and looking him in the eyes “I thought I had lost you.” His voice sounded so full of relief, so much like the person he fell in love with. That gentle and loving tone that soothed him through his heartbreak and troubled times.

A towel was now being wrapped around him and he was being lifted off the ground. Ed was carrying him? Yes, he was. He hated being carried, but he was to tired to protest. He felt himself being sat down on the bed, but nothing was registering for him, everything was happening to fast. His heart was beating loudly in his ear, his body shaking, and Ed was talking to him again.

"Oswald! Hey, it’s okay! You are going into shock, I need you to calm down and breathe,” he was trying to sooth him, his voice still full of emotion. “I will get you dried off and into some warm clothes. Okay,” he was looking him in the eyes, trying to get a reaction.

Oswald simply nods, but he doesn’t know how he did. He couldn’t be here, he couldn’t be real. Edward was gone, he hasn’t seen or heard from him in over a year. How could he be here?

"Have I died?” His voice cut suddenly through the silence of the house, stopping Ed in his tracks.

Ed frowned, face filling with confusion “what do you mean, Oswald?” He watched in concern as Oswald looked around the room as if searching for something or someone.

"That is the only way you can be here. That is the only explanation.” He continued, his voice cracking as it tried to escape over the lump that had formed in his throat.

Edward took Oswald’s face in his hands, wiping away the tears that streamed down the penguin’s face. He brought his forehead to rest against his, showing a sign of intimacy they have never experienced before. “You are not dead, you’re not dead,” he whispers, telling Oswald as much as himself. “I’m here.” His voice cracked as he closed his eyes. “I’m here…”

Oswald reaches up and placed his hands on Ed’s wrists, squeezing them and holding them in place. He didn’t want him to let go, he didn’t want him to disappear. He felt his chest tighten as his emotions bubbled up in him again, tears stinging in his eyes. He didn’t want to open them, terrified that this was just another one of the cruel nightmares. Just another cruel sick joke. So many times he had dreamed Edward would come to him, everything would be fixed and he would have his friend back. Ed would fix him again, like he always does. The pain and heartache would disappear and leave him with nothing but the love he used to feel. He couldn’t open his eyes, he wouldn’t. If this was a dream or heaven or even hell he wanted to stay here, with his man of riddles, with Ed’s fingers caressing his cheeks just like he had imagined so many times before.

Ed seemed to have read his thoughts, pulling the bird to his chest and whispering against his wet raven hair “I am here, and I will not abandon you again.” Oswald felt tears dropping into his hair as his pressed his ear to Edward’s chest to listen to his heart beat before desperately grasping at his back, clinging terrified that he would disappear into thin air before him.

With a sniffle Ed was pulling back, giving him a smile that Oswald could tell was forced. “You must be freezing” he said softly, “let’s get you dried off and dressed in something warm.” The former mayor nods, still feeling in a haze. This wasn’t the first time Ed was changing his clothes, but it still brought color to his cheeks. Oswald had to averted his eyes when Ed took in a sharp breath after removing his pajama shirt. The taller man’s face filled with a mix of sadness and anger when he saw the weak state he was in. He reached his hand out to run a finger along the easily seen ribs, but stopped just within inches when he saw Oswald flinch.

Oswald was uncomfortable and he has been through enough already, he didn’t need to humiliate him. Ed forces another smile and sniffles again. “Let’s get you dressed and I will fix you something to eat or we can order take out, because if I remember correctly you said my food tasted like charcoal. But if you want just to get some rest you can.” He rubbed Oswald’s cheeks with his thumbs to get his attention,“Whatever you want, but I really need get you dressed so you don’t catch a cold, we don’t need to go through that again.”

They both were quiet while Ed dressed him in simple sweats and a T-shirt he had laying in his closet. They were most likely dirty, but at least they were dry. It felt strange to see Oswald dressed in something other than a suit, dressed like a civilian. He wasn’t the proud emperor Penguin he was used to seeing. He hated it.

"There we are, that’s much better.” Ed smiled, laying the towel over Oswald’s head. “Now let’s go fix you something to eat, what would you like?” He turned to go to the kitchen, stepping over the trash as he went to open the fridge.

"Why” Oswald suddenly said, voice horse.

Ed turned to face him, a pickle jar in his hand. He was about to ask him what he meant when he saw he was crying. Oswald was slumped over, looking defeated in everyway possible. It brought him back to the night it all started, taking him in and healing his broken wing. The mighty King of Gotham was defeated once more, and this time it was his fault.

"Why are you here? After all this time, why? I have heard nothing from you. I have received no phonecall, no text, not even a letters, nothing.” Oswald felt anger start to build in his chest as he continued. Ed could only stare unable to say or do anything, realizing just how much pain he made him endured the last year.  
Oswald voice started to rise with ever word, “Why are you here!” he shouted as tears streamed down his face. He forced himself off the bed, but ended up falling to the floor. “Why did you leave me too,” he sobbed.

"Oswald-”

“Is it because I had…have…is it because of how I feel about you?”

Edward’s eyes widen and he quickly set the jar down, walking back towards him. “No! Of course not! I was never angry about that, please don’t think I was.”

“Then why did you leave,” he looks up at him, a years worth of pain in his eyes. “If it wasn’t because of my feelings towards you, why did you just disappear?”

Ed wasn’t ready for this, why must they talk about this now. He almost lost him, he almost lost the person he…cares about most. He only needed a couple hours or a day at most, he just needed time to breathe.

"Os-”

Oswald shook his head, trying to stand back up. When Ed tried to help him he slapped his hand away. “No, you don’t get to run away from this. I won’t wait, I want an answer and I want it now Edward Nygma.” He managed to crawl back onto the bed, a fire in his eyes. At least he was feeling better. “Why. Did. You. Leave.”

There was a long pause, nobody said anything or even moved a muscle. Edward looked in his friend’s eyes, afraid the fire would burn him down if he didn’t give him an answer.

"You killed her.”

And there it was, there was his answer. It was three simple words, yet it was enough. Oswald’s eyes widen and the color drains from his face once more. He looked like he was going to be sick, his body was shaking and there was a hint of fear in his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth, either trying to come up with another lie or just form any sort of words. But Edward beat him to it, he might as well lay it all out.

“You killed Isabella, Barbara told me. I didn’t believe her at first, because I never thought you’d do that to me. Why would you? What would be your motive? Well she told me it was because you were in love with me, which again I didn’t believe. How could you love me?” how could you be in love with a guy like me. “I apologize that I had to trick you into confessing, it was a low thing to do. But I had to know, I had to know the truth. And once I realized what you did, I couldn’t be around you.” I had to destroy you, because I was a fool.

Oswald didn’t say anything, he stared at him and gasped like a fish needing air. When he finally did speak it was soft and hardly audible. “Why didn’t you kill me, why am I still alive and why are you here?” If he was here to kill him he would have just let him drown, unless he wanted it to be slower.

"I couldn’t kill you, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought about it and I came close to doing it, but I never wanted you dead Oswald.” Ed sighed, now came the hard part. “I wanted to destroy you, ruin you and take away everything from you and…that is exactly what I did.”

It only took him a few seconds for it to sink in and for realization to hit him.

"You.” It was all he could get out, the only sound he could produce at the moment. But it was enough. Edward nods, walking over to sit down beside him. He was even surprised he let him do it. But the smack that landed across his cheek, that didn’t surprise him. “You did this to me? You ruined everything!”

Edward rubs his cheek, everyone was hitting him today. Whatever happened to not hitting a guy with glasses? “Yes, I did. I worked for Barbara, if I did what she told me to do I could get my revenge on you. I got the underworld to hate you and the city to despise you. This city is to easy to control, I was able to do it in less in two months.”

Oswald raised his hand to strike him, but his hand ended up falling uselessly to his side. “You got what you wanted, you destroyed my name and took everything from me. So tell me why are you here?”

Because I miss you, because I need you in my life and I…I.. “I don’t know. I am drawn to you Oswald and though I can never forgive you for what you did to me, I can’t forget the time we had together. You made me into the man I am today. What did you tell me before? I would be lost without you? I feel the same, I would be lost without you Oswald.” The penguin laughs as if Ed just told him a humorous joke. “It is the truth,” he says, placing his hand on his shoulder. “I spent the last year hating you or thinking I hated you. But as time went on I…I missed you, I missed you terribly. ”

Oswald looks up at him, going quiet and showing an expression Ed couldn’t read. “I found out Barbara was just using me,” he goes on, “I had my suspicion, but I wanted to get back at you so I chose to ignore it. But I was trying to make things right. Butch is in jail, Tabitha is missing, and Barbara is dealing with some messy trouble. I know it can’t undo what I did to you, but I’m trying to fix it.” With his free hand he grabbed on to Oswald’s hand, entwining their fingers. “I can’t forgive you, not yet. So I don’t blame you if you can’t forgive me. But I want us to start over, I want to try again. I would do anything for you Oswald, I meant that and I still do.”

The proud kingpin looks down at their hands, soon placing his other hand on top of theirs. He looks up at the brunette, a knew found courage in his eyes. “I love you,” he whispers, clearing his throat to speak more clearly. “I love you Edward.”

The Riddler smiles, rubbing his thumb over his palm. He knew Oswald needed to say that, whether it was him forgiving him or not he didn’t know. But he could tell it was a weight off his chest. “I know,” he replies simply. “I don’t know how to feel about you. I’ve never been good with this sort of thing. All I know is that I need you and want to be with you. I can’t live without you Oswald. Is that love? I don’t know. I have so many voices in my head telling me different things. Some want me to kill you and another is telling me…to kiss you. I don’t know which one I want if either.” He took a deep breath, pushing his glasses up. “But I want to find out, with you if you will let me. Can’t we start over?”

He waited for an answer, feeling his heart beating loudly in his ears as he did. When Oswald let go of his hands and started to stand up he was afraid to hear his answer. Of course, why would he want to be your friend after this?

But when Oswald stood up straight and held out his hand to him, he felt his heart racing faster. “Hello, my name is Oswald Cobblepot.”

Ed felt tears sting his eyes and he gave a smile to match Oswald’s. He stood up and placed his hand in his, “Hello, my name is Edward, Edward Nygma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this project of mine. I'm so proud of this and so happy that people actually liked it. I was crying over the positive feedback, thank you so much. I want to write more about them, tell more stories with my two boys. I want to put my heart into more stories with them, maybe one day have a long one. Right now I am actually working on a small Christmas story with them, which I hope I can finish soon.
> 
> I hope everyone has a merry Christmas and a happy holiday season. <3
> 
> Be kind, but criticism is welcome.
> 
> Beta read by Zazzles - http://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule


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